It happened again. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised anymore, I was walking down the hall with my friend Emma when Scott walked past.
“Hi Scott,” I’d say every day when I saw him.
“Oh, hey Kristy,” he’d reply giving me a faint smile. Scott was amazing, gorgeous, and all the other adjectives you can think of describing someone as great as him, I’d liked him for ages so I was super happy when a friend introduced us, we got on so well, just made me even happier.
“I think he likes you,” my friend told me, the first night we met, “he keeps looking at you like he does, you know.. the kinds of sideways ‘she’s quite nice’ look!”
“He does NOT!” I replied, totally embarrassed, I could feel the redness rushing up to my face, I mean, come one, there’s no hope in hell of Scott liking me, he’s out of my league.
But secretly, in the back of my mind, I always hoped, I couldn’t help it. He was so nice, which just made me fancy him even more he used to go out of his way to speak tome in school and at the end of conversations he’d say something like “it was really nice talking to you” Then he saw Emma, the almighty, amazing Emma. She smiled at him.
“Hiya Emma,” he winked at her. He WINKED at her, he’s never winked at me before. It was my fault they even knew each other, if I hadn’t introduced her to him, then they wouldn’t even know each other. I couldn’t help constantly comparing myself to her, it was practically impossible not to, I mean, she was gorgeous, and you constantly felt ugly beside her, I’m surprised she hasn’t picked up a modelling contract or something!
Maybe I am just being hormonal, not that it would surprise anyone, but I had myself convinced that he fancied her, which made me so jealous, I must’ve sat in bed for about 3 hours cracking myself up over it. But it wasn’t fair, she always got the boy, you’d be getting on really well with them one minute then once they see her it would be like Kristy who? Don’t get me wrong, I love her to bits as a friend, I get on so well with her and I tell her all my problems, except that one, how I am constantly comparing myself to her, waking up every morning and thinking, here goes another day of being overlooked by all the boys as soon as she walks along, but I can’t help it, I’m a teenager.
I couldn’t talk to anyone about this, I couldn’t REALLY talk to anyone about anything, OK, so it feels good to have told someone, but no one ever understands, I can’t talk to anyone at home about school, about the pressure I have form them all to get good marks, go to uni and get a great job, basically be the one who isn’t going to get pregnant at 20 and live with the family, and there’s home, I can’t talk to anyone about it either coz they all think they understand, but they don’t, they all come from the rich, perfect families, never a problem in their house, never shortage of money, and never feeling inadequate because you don’t have as much money to get pretty clothes from all the posh shops like they do.
I’d lie awake at night thinking about how great it would be to win the lottery or be famous, being able to see their faces when I walked out, looking perfect in all MY designer clothes, they wouldn’t be looking past me again would they?
“Kristy?” I could hear someone calling me. “YO, KRIS! Is anyone there?”
“Huh?” I snapped out of my daydream to find my friend Rebecca waving her hand in front of my face.
“Sorry, I guess I was in another world there,” I joked.
“Yeah, you can say that again, I thought you’d never come back to ours.”
That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? Never to come back to the real world, just to live in my la la land forever.
No Kris, don’t even go there, you’ll just piss yourself off even more. “Yep, well, I’m here now” unfortunately I added quietly.
“So,” she said, “Do you have any gossip?”
“Do I ever?”
“What’s the matter with you today, your not even smiling, and you always smile.”
“Well, maybe I’m just sick of being happy Kris for once!” I snapped, instantly regretting it. “I’m sorry,” I added quickly, “I’m just tired, you know how it is in my hellhole, I mean, house these days.”
I tried a weak smile, but I never really pulled it off. It was pretty pointless saying that, of course she isn’t going to know, she doesn’t share a room with a 3-year-old child, how could she possibly sympathise?
“Look, I know you’ve been really down recently, so we’re all going out his weekend to cheer you up,” she said firmly.
“Oh, I don’t know, I have to work-“ She never gave me a chance to finish.
“I don’t care, its not like your going to miss work on a Saturday night, unless you have some new job I don’t know about?” she giggled, I knew what she was implying, geez, how could one 17-year-old be so dirty minded?
“Oh, alright then,” I sighed, I guess it would do me some good to get out this weekend, I rarely ever went out anymore, I was always too tired.
“So what have you got planned for this amazing night out?” I asked her looking over her shoulder, Scott was walking past, looking as fine as ever, even in our geeky uniform.
“Scott’s walking past, isn’t he?” Rebecca said leaning to the side to look at me.
“How did you guess?” I smiled.
“Oh, the tongue hanging out and the puddle of the drool doesn’t give it away, I must be psychic!”
We both laughed.
“Anyway,” Rebecca continued, “I’m going to take you out clubbing, you never go out, so it’s time for your to actually get a life outside school other than working and sitting at your beloved computer on the blimmin’ internet!” She giggled.
“Hey! Don’t knock the Internet, it isn’t all THAT bad.” I said indignantly. Sometimes I think my online friends are better than my real friends.
Just then the bell rang and I gathered up my books for French class.
“Au Revoir mon amie!’’ I said as I walked on. I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going, so it wasn’t much of a surprise when I ran head first into Scott, I didn’t even notice who it was, I must’ve been really far off.
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry,” I said looking up, and when I realised it was him I could feel the redness appearing.
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” he said in his ever-sexy voice, smiling down at me.
“You look like you’re in a rush?”
OH MY GOD!! He’s trying to make conversation, he could’ve walked on, BUT HE’S TRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION! “Yeah, I‘m never on time for French, and I always get my head ripped off, so I thought I’d try and be there on time-” OK, he’s trying to talk to me and what do I talk about, FRENCH. “What class are you in now?” I asked, trying to stop myself from going on.
“Sociology,” he groaned, “I really couldn’t be bothered.”
“Well, I guess we had better get going then,” I said, then immediately wished I hadn’t, he was trying to talk and I just cut him off.
“Yeah, I guess so,” he said, “I’ll talk to you later, bye.” He walked away.
“Bye Scott,” I said sadly to myself I walked to my next class, we’d always be friends and nothing more, how could he like me when Emma was around, it wasn’t going to happen.
I walked to my next class going through the rest of the day as though I was a comatose, hardly speaking or trying to interact with anybody.
When I got home that night I switched on my computer and started reading my emails, there was little sadder than that was there, sitting online on a Friday night.
I noticed a box pop up on screen saying someone had added me to their contact list on my messenger service, I didn’t recognise the email address, but I added them for the sake of it, I had nothing to lose, and little to gain from talking to another faceless stranger.
“Hi there.” Another box popped up on the screen, it was from the same person who I just added.
“Um, hey, do I know you?” I asked them. “a/s/l?” I added as an afterthought.
“Nope, you don’t know me, I got an email from my friend and tried to save their address, but kind of saved every ones he’d emailed it to, including yours and added them to my contact list as well, sorry! I’m Chaz, 25/m/California, but currently travelling, you?”
I reached over to put a CD in my hi-fi.
“Hello?” I heard the bleeping of the IM.
“Hi, sorry, I was just putting my CD on, I’m 17/f/Belfast, Northern Ireland.”
“Belfast is a pretty cool place, I was there a few years ago, and I’d love to go back sometime. What band is your CD?”
“You must be joking, it’s about the worst place on earth! It’s Linkin Park, I got the CD a few weeks ago for a birthday present, it’d really good, but I’m not one of those wee stupid teeny boppers, just before you start thinking!”
“Have you ever been to the bands website?”
“Nah, I don’t waste my time hanging about those things, I haven’t even seen the videos, my mum got rid of our cable!”
We chatted for the next hour or so about everything and anything, he told me how he was a singer in a band, but wouldn’t tell me who, which really got me curious. I told him about Scott, how he’d never like me, and Emma, about how I was constantly striving to be as good as her and to look as good as her, but it never worked.
“I’ll bet you are far prettier than her.”
“How would you know, you haven’t even met me, or saw a picture of me for that matter!”
“Then why don’t you send me a picture?”
“’Coz the only one I have on my computer is about 2-years old.”
“So? Just send it anyway.”
So I did, curse my easily persuaded nature.
“Don’t be laughing at my picture now, I’m very sensitive!” I joked.
“Why would I be laughing?” he asked, “you're beautiful.” I blushed, thanking God that contact on the Internet was anonymous and faceless, so he couldn’t see me.
“You must be joking, you have to say that, you can hardly just say your ugly!” I groaned inwardly, mentally kicking myself for sending that photo.
“You shouldn’t put yourself down the way you do, you’re pretty and you should know it.”
“This is kind of ironic, as we talking Crawlin’ is playing, have you heard it? I guess it’s one of those songs that I relate to.”
“Yeah, I know it, what did you mean by you can relate to it? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“It’s a bit stupid really, it’s coz I was bullied a few years ago, and I felt so insecure about myself, she as the kind of person that could make you feel worthless, and she did.”
“I don’t think it’s stupid at all, I think it’s amazing when lyrics can really speak to a person like that.” Why was I telling him all this? I barely even knew him.
“This is so weird, I mean, I hardly even know you and I’m telling you all this.”
“I know.. it IS strange,” he agreed, “but people just click like that.”
“It was really nice talking to you Chaz, but I have to go now my mum’s bugging me to get off the computer.”
“It was nice talking to you too, I hope we can chat again soon, bye.” And with that I signed off. Why was it that I only just started talking to him and I felt like I knew him all my life? Weird, definitely!
I got up at 8am the next morning for work and spent the rest of the day trying to be as bright and chirpy as possible, willing for 5pm to come faster, I was really looking forward to going out with the girls tonight, I hadn’t been out with them in a while.
The rest of the day flew in, with Chaz popping into my thoughts at the weirdest moments, although I was never quite sure why.
5pm finally came as I rushed home to get ready, I even got myself new clothes for the night, I thought I should treat myself, as I rarely did, but attempting to wax my legs was a mistake that I was never going to try again!
Rebecca picked me up at 8pm just as I was putting the finishing touches to my make up.
“Get a move on,” she yelled as she was walking up my stairs, “it doesn’t take you THAT long to get ready does it?”
“Yep, it does,” I grinned at her, “looking this great doesn’t come easy you know!”
“You do look great, but not as great as me” she giggled, “is that a new dress?”
“Oh give over, yep, it is I got it today during my lunch break, whaddya think?” I twirled around for her.
“I think that if you don’t stop showing off we’re going to be late!” She grabbed my arm and my jacket and dragged me down the stairs, where I only just had enough time to lift my bag I’d left at the bottom of the stairs.
I had to say, I was having a great night out, consuming immense amounts of alcohol, all the while getting the feeling someone was watching me. I was up on the dance floor shaking my thing with my girly mates, when I looked over at the bar and caught someone staring at me, of course as soon as I looked at him, he looked away. He had bleached, spiky hair and a labret piercing, which I found instantly gorgeous, I always thought that was cute.
But I never went over to him, and he never came near me, so by then end of the night I’d completely forgotten about him, although that could be put down to the alcohol consumption as I had forgotten most things by that point.
We stumbled out of the club at about 2am, walking down the road, when leaning against the wall was the blond Adonis from the bar, as my friends continued to drag me down the street he caught my eye, but this time neither of us looked away, as I walked away I could do nothing, so I smiled, and got a wink in response.
I woke up the next morning lying spread-eagled across my bed, still wearing the same clothes as the night before. I heard someone knock at my bedroom door.
“Humph,” I grunted, which the obviously took as a come in. “You lost this,” I could hear my mum say, so I turned my head and opened one eye to see she was holding one of my sandals.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, sticking one hand out from under my covers to get it, and promptly dropped it down the side of my bed when she handed it to me.
“Looks like you had a good night?” she said as a question type thing, then left when she realised what little response she was getting. When I had properly woken up I walked over to the full-length mirror and looked at myself. My hair was sticking up at all angles, and my makeup all smudged because I never took it off, I looked a right state.
I dragged myself into down to the bathroom and got into the shower. By the time I got out, I was feeling what resembled normal. I grabbed my robe from the hanger and went downstairs to get breakfast.
“I see our little sunshine has finally managed to get herself out of bed then?”
“Just about,” was my reply as I poured myself a cup of tea.
“Why did I find your shoe in the front garden?” she questioned.
“I have about as much clue as you do mum!”
“Too much drink?” she laughed, me and my mum were strange like that, we were very open with each other, and we rarely argued, which my friends envied, they always said how they wished they were as close with their mother as I was with mine, but I suppose that had something to do with my father’s death, it brought us very close.
“Something like that,” I answered her, “but at least I’m not being sick!”
“True, because I wouldn’t want to be the one cleaning it up, I don’t think your sister would want to either, she has enough problems with that child of hers!”
I nodded knowingly, Aisling could be a right pain in the arse, especially when she woke you up at 2am screaming! I don’t think I’ve had a full night’s sleep since she’s been born. I guess you’re wondering why I share a room with her anyway? My sister (funnily enough) managed to get herself pregnant at 20, and her boyfriend broke up with her, I never liked him anyway, he always come up to our house and sit in front of the TV, not saying anything, and I was never allowed into my bedroom when he was there.
Good riddance, I thought… until I found out she was pregnant. I should feel sorry for her, I suppose, doesn’t stop me from being angry though, why should her cluelessness about contraception be part of my burden, as if A-levels aren’t enough already?!
I went up stairs to go (yet again) on to the Internet. As I was going though my emails I noticed one from Chaz, I don’t know what came over me, but I couldn’t believe how excited I was as I went to read it.
Hey Kris, I’m REALLY bored since you went offline, so I just thought I’d drop you a line to say how much I enjoyed talking to you tonight, I think we really connected. (That sounds really corny, don’t be laughing at me, I’m very sensitive didn’t ya know!;) LOL) Well, I haven’t got much to say, just that, so I guess I’ll maybe speak to you another time? Bye, Chaz xoxo
Oh my God, was this man, like completely reading my mind? He must’ve been coz he just told me exactly what I was thinking. I must’ve been in a different world, because I didn’t even realise my messenger service was beeping until I looked down at the screen to see the flashing box.
“Oh hiya! Sorry about that, I was just reading your email.”
“Oh, Geez, that, that was pretty lame, I shouldn’t have bothered.”
“No, it was really nice, it made me smile, see? :)”
“That’s good, you’re pretty when you smile.”
“How would you know? …Oh, I was smiling in that picture I sent!”
“Yeah, you were, and you looked really nice!”
“Shit!” I mentally punched myself when I realised I’d just added about 20 people I didn’t know to my IM service, I was only trying to save one address too!
“Stupid computer!” Oh well, I suppose it couldn’t hurt having some extra people to talk to, I only had like three other people on my contact list, and it got REALLY boring, the same old conversation over and over again.
“Hi, how are you?” “Fine, and you?” “Good, how’s the tour going?” And it would continue going on like that till it exhausted itself, God knows, I shouldn’t have as much time on my hands to be going on the Internet, but it was only small, one-off gigs the band were doing, so it might’ve been like at least a week in between, well, I have to amuse myself somehow don’t I?
“Kristy, that’s a nice name,” I thought to myself as the name came up in the corner of the screen, she must be one of those people I added accidentally, well, it could do no harm talking to her.
“Hi there,” I said, starting the conversation, hoping she didn’t knock me back, she didn’t we carried on talking about most things, I told her I was travelling, and was a musician, thankfully she never asked if I was in a band, I don’ t know how well she would’ve taken it, she mentioned the CD and how she liked us, but she doesn’t hang about the website, which I suppose is a good thing, if she found out then she wouldn’t have any expectations.
We must’ve sat talking for the next hour at least when she said she had to leave, I didn’t think I’d be so disappointed, but I reasoned with myself that I could talk to her another time, it wasn’t as though it was the end of the world! I got really bored when she went offline so I thought I’d write her an email, but it wasn’t until after I’d sent it I was I hadn’t, I sounded SO lame!
Just then I heard someone knocking on the door of my hotel room. “Hello?”
“Yo dude, it’s Mike can I come in?”
“Yeah if you must.”
“Want to go out with me and the lads tonight, there’s some club in the town called Pleasure Seeker I think it is, meant to be great, up for it?”
“Sure, it’s not like I have much else to do,” I replied as I switched of the computer.
“Be ready in an hour dude, we aren’t waiting around, and we KNOW what you’re like getting ready!”
Within an hour, I was ready to go and waiting in the hotel lobby for the rest of the band. We made it to the club in one piece and headed straight for the bar, I’d need alcohol if I was going to get through this night.
I suppose the club wasn’t so bad, it had a good atmosphere, but the music wasn’t really my thing, too dance-ish, and I wasn’t much of a dancer, so I just stayed at the bar all night. Then I noticed this girl up dancing. She had shoulder-length blond hair, tanned skin, and a great body, but I was sure I had seen her somewhere before, then she looked at me, RIGHT at me, I mean, IN THE EYES at me, and I wasn’t imagining things this time!
Then I realised where I knew her from, it was Kristy, the girl I was talking to on the Internet. Wow! She really was beautiful. She definitely knew how to move, that was for sure. I’d asked her to send me her picture, but she complained the one she had was old, but sent it anyway, even in her old picture she looked good, and she looked even better now!
About 2am I began to feel really ill from being inside the club, so I went outside for some fresh air. I looked up as I heard a lot of voices coming from the entrance of the club to see a group of girls coming out of the club.
There she was again.
I wish I had said hello or something while I was inside, she must’ve noticed me, because she turned round and looked at me again, I don’t know, maybe she realised who I was, but there was no way she could, hey, maybe she’s psychic! When she turned round, I started walking after them, as I noticed them walking into the Chinese, only to be abruptly stopped by Brad dragging me from behind.
“Yo, man, what are you playing at?” I said angrily. “The rest or them are waiting for you at the taxi place, where did you go off to anyways?” came the reply as he dragged me behind him.
“I wasn’t feeling well, WILL YOU QUIT DRAGGING ME?”
“OK dude, don’t get your panties in a twist!” We approached the taxi depot where the rest of the band was waiting, looking decidedly angry, they must have slipped out another entrance or left when I was busy puking.
“Will you hurry your fat ass up?” Phoenix muttered, “I don’t think Joe will last must longer.” I looked down to where Joe was sitting on the bench, clutching his stomach and groaning.
“Who was the lucky girl tonight then?” Rob asked me, winking. “No one, I wasn’t feeling well,” I glared at him.
“You could’ve fooled us, we saw you eyeing up that blonde!”
“Whatever,” I mumbled as I was climbing into the taxi, I was too tired for their shit tonight.
I wasn’t tired by the time I got into the hotel room, when I finally dragged myself to bed all I could think of was Kristy, she was a GREAT mover! I don’t even remember what happened after I got into the taxi, or going up to my hotel room, I couldn’t have been that drunk, could I?
I dragged myself out of bed late the next morning, or was it early that afternoon? But I do know I was late for breakfast in the hotel. My stomach was calling, so I slumped over to the mini bar to see if there was anything to eat, but was there? NO! Only ridiculously overpriced mini chocolate bars and peanuts. But I felt my stomach calling for the toilet anyway as I battled my ay across the hotel room before I had a cleaning up job to do.
Why do I drink that much, I know I’m going to end up like this the next day, maybe I should give up drinking? Nah, it’s too fun!
“DUDE? Are you ok?” I heard Mike yelling through the door, followed by more thumping and more yelling as I slowly made my way over to the door.
“What?” I glared at him. “Whoa, you look like shit!” he told me rather matter-of-factly.
“No shit Sherlock, I feel like it too!”
“What did you DRINK last night?”
“Fuck knows, fuck cares!” I said to him as I placed myself in front of the laptop sitting on the desk.
Kristy was online, KRISTY WAS ONLINE! WOOHOO!
I started chatting to her, and nearly gave myself away to seeing her last night when I told her she looked really pretty smiling. I mentally kicked myself when I said it, but luckily she saved the day by mentioning her photo.
Then came the question I had been dreading.
“Btw, what’s the name of your band, I never asked before.”
Oh no! Should I tell her?
“Man, who’s the chick you’re talking to?” Mike asked me, peering over my shoulder.
“Fuck off you wee shit!” I yelled in his face, pushing him away. “And she’s not a chick, she’s called Kristy!”
“What’s stuck up your butt?” Mike asked backing off. “And who’s Kristy?”
“Nothing, and she’s the blonde I was supposedly eyeing up last night.”
“Ooohhh,” Mike said knowingly, “she was HOT! Does she know who you are?”
“Nope, but she just asked me what band I’m in, and I don’t know what to say to her.”
“Tell her bro, what have you got to lose?”
“A good friend if she doesn’t believe me.” Maybe I should just tell her, but what if she doesn’t believe me, I like her too much to risk that. My thoughts were interrupted the incessant beeping of the computer.
“Sorry Kris, I was just talking to my friend, Mike.”
“Fair enough, so, are ya gonna answer my question?”
“Yeah, umm.. don’t take this the wrong way but…”
“Take what the wrong way?”
“OK, You probably won’t believe when I tell you this, but I’m the singer in Linkin Park.”
OH MY GOD!! Was I just like TOTALLY imagining things now, or is he telling me the truth?
I think he was a bit surprised to think I believed him, although I can see why, I mean, it’s not often you just start talking to someone famous is it?
“So,” I started, trying to change the subject, “do anything interesting last night?”
“Yeah, I went out to some club, got totally wasted and spent this morning with my head stuck down the toilet! What did you do?”
“LOL! Maybe you should cut down on your alcohol intake? I was out clubbing too, but there was this guy who kept looking at me, I mean, he was good-looking and all, but I kept getting a weird feeling, like I should know him, or he knew me or something, it was strange!”
“You should know him.”
“I said, you should know him.”
“How do you manage that one then?”
“OK, this is too weird, first you tell me your whats-his-face from Linkin Park, and now you’re like STALKING me or something? This is too weird!”
“I wasn’t stalking you, we are playing a small gig here, and we went out last night, that’s NOT the same as stalking!”
“Look, I have to go now, ttyl.” OH MY GOD! I can’t believe that just happened! Why did I act like such a bitch?
I should have known better than to tell her who I really was, I don’t know why I did, but what can you do, I guess I should have used my initiative before I opened my big mouth.. well, let my fingers go riot, as the case would be anyway. I sighed and put my head in my hands.
“What’s wrong?” I heard Mike say from across the room, I’d forgotten he was even there!!
“I told her who I was.”
“Now she thinks I’m stalking her or something, why the fuck didn’t you stop me from doing that you dick?”
“Whoa, calm down man, how the fuck was I meant to know she would get her panties in a twist about it?”
“Let’s see? I’m in a fucking band that she’s a fan of, it’s not hard to put 2 and fucking 2 together!”
“You really liked her didn’t you?” he asked me sitting down on my bed.
“Then do something about it!”
“Like what Mr Genius? You were the one that said I should tell her, I wouldn’t trust anymore of your shitty advice, it’ll end up making things even worse.” And with that I walked out of the room slamming the door, leaving Mike staring at it behind me.
“Hey bro, what’s up?” Joe asked me as I walked past him in the hall.
I left the hotel and started walking down the main street, which was packed with people, as it would be on a Saturday morning.
“Watch it mate!” Some passer-by walked right into me and was telling ME to watch it, I was ready from punching someone right there and then. I went into the nearest coffee shop, at least it would give me a chance to think. As I gave the waitress my order I looked round the room and noticed two girls sitting in the corner laughing.
The one who was sitting sideways to me, looked vaguely familiar, but because I couldn’t see her full face, I wasn’t too sure. I walked across the room to get a seat when she turned round and looked at me, it was Kristy! Was this the way we were destined to meet, while she was with people and I could never get her alone to talk?
I gave her a small smile. She smiled back! She smiled back at me! Maybe she realised I was telling the truth?
“Oh MY GOD!! Kris LOOK!!” I turned to where Emma was pointing and saw Chaz.
“He just smiled at YOU!” Emma was hyperventilating now.
So, someone smiled at ME and not YOU for a change, you make it sound like it’s never meant to happen! Well, it’s not is it? She’s, Emma! “You make it sound like a bad thing,” I said sarcastically.
“I never said that, but do you even KNOW who he is he’s like FAMOUS!” She exclaimed, much to my amusement, because she’d never liked any type of rock music, let alone know what the singers looked like, she usually left the ‘knowing all the details obsession thing’ to me.
“So? He’s not THAT famous.” I shrugged turning back to her, “since when have you known anybody in rock music anyway?”
“I do watch TV you know,” she rolled her eyes at me. “And I do know talent when I see it, but I need to go to the loo, back in a mo.” Could she be any more obvious at her game? She just went to the toilet about five minutes ago before we came in here, and to go she had to walk past Chaz. She was giving it her best strut and all, and when he looked up at her walking past she gave him her flirtiest smile, bet she wasn’t too pleased when he ignored her, instead he stood up and started walking towards me.
“Hi,” he said, giving me sheepish grin.
“Hey Chaz,” I replied, looking over his shoulder in to see Emma glaring at us.
“Look I’m-” We both started at the same time.
“Go ahead,” he motioned.
“I just wanted to say I’m really sorry for being such a bitch earlier, I don’t know what came over me, and I’m REALLY sorry!”
“It’s OK, really, I guess it’s my fault for telling you so soon, Mike seemed to think it would be a good idea to tell you though!”
“It’s not that, I mean, I was a bit, ‘holy shit’ but- who’s Mike?”
“Mike’s the emcee.” He told me, “shows you how much I know if I didn’t even guess that.”
“Figures, but then, I didn’t even know what you looked like till last night,” I giggled.
“I’m really glad that’s all sorted out now, I was really freakin’ about it, thinking you were going to hate me for life or something.”
“I couldn’t hate you, you’re way to nice!” I grinned at him.
“Friends then?” he asked, sticking his hand out. “Yep!” I pulled him in for a hug. Mmm, he smells gorgeous, No STOP IT, you aren’t allowed to think that, FRIENDS remember? “Hey,” he said, looking down at his feet, “do you wannadosomethingtonight?” He stopped shuffling his feet and looked up at me.
“Sorry,” his face was going red now, aww, he looks so cute blushing! “I said, do you want to do something tonight?”
“Yeah I’d LOVE to!” Immediately wishing that I hadn’t sounded so enthusiastic, I think I even jumped in my seat a little!
“Well, your friend will be back soon I’m sure, so write down your number and I’ll call you tonight, ok?” Sure enough, as soon as he said that, Emma was walking towards us, so I scribbled down my number quickly and gave it to him.
“Talk to you later,” he said as he was getting up.
“Bye Chaz.” This had to be the BEST day ever! I mean, me and Chaz made up and he asked me out, not to mention Emma being jealous as an added bonus, she was raging as she walked up to me, I could see it in her eyes.
“What was THAT?” she demanded, going slightly red in the face.
“What was what?”
“THAT!” she said waving her hand towards the direction of the departing Chaz while trying to control the level of her voice as she sat down.
“Because he came over and started talking to me, that’s why, I didn’t think it was going to bother you that much.”
“It doesn’t bother me,” she tried to fake a smile, “but how come he was talking to you?”
“What’s THAT meant to mean? That he isn’t allowed to talk to me? That it was meant to be YOU instead? Don’t think I didn’t see you glaring earlier!” I guess I shouldn’t have got worked up, but I just let all my frustrations go about her and her head being up her arse. “Well… you knew I liked him, I thought I’d made myself pretty obvious there!”
“NO, you didn’t you said he was famous, you said he was good-looking, that is COMPLETELY different from, ‘I really like him Kris’!” Our voices were getting raised now, and few people were looking at us.
“I thought that was implied!”
“Apparently not, and just so you know, I’ve spoken to Chaz before, it’s not like this was the first time, but it WAS the first time YOU’VE ever mentioned him, do you think I’m psychic, was I just meant to GUESS, ‘oh Emma will like him, so now I’m not allowed to talk to him coz then Emma will be able to get in there with him like she does with every lad, then CHEAT ON HIM, like she does with every other lad’, WELL, was I?”
“I’m not in the mood for this,” she fumed, grabbing her jacket to walk out.
“That’s because its true, the truth hurts Emma!” I shouted after her. It was only now that I was acutely aware that most of the café was staring at us, well, me now since Emma walked out, making me feel rather triumphant knowing I won the argument.
I turned round to someone tapping me on the shoulder, ready for screaming at someone else, only to find Chaz looking at me.
“OH! I wasn’t expecting you to be there!”
“Geez, I thought you were going to rip the head of me there!”
“Sorry, just feeling a bit, aggressive at the minute!”
“Yeah, so I noticed, what was all that about?”
“Just my so-called friend Emma being a self-absorbed bitch and me letting out all my residual anger on her!” I grinned.
“She loves herself and expects every one else to love her.”
“Eh, she wasn’t all that, you’re prettier,” he smiled.
“Aww, thanks, that’s so sweet of you, but I’m feeling really scundered at the mo, so lets get out of here!” I said grabbing his hand and pulling him out.
Oh my god, Im holding hands with him, be cool, don’t freak out… OH MY FUCKING GOD!
Oh my God I’m a grown man, so why am I getting on like a stupid frikkin teenager when she takes my fucking hand? Come on Chester man, you’ve been through this before, it’s not like its anything new to you.
We must’ve walked around the town for hours, only getting a few strange looks thank God, when she asked me what time it was.
“Umm, 6.30, why?”
“Oh SHIT! I gotta get home before my mum kicks my ass! Call me later ok?” She called as she started jogging towards the bus stop.
“Later!” I couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel to call her now, I just wanted to see her again! I ran up to my hotel room and jumped on my bed.
“ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” I screamed, jumping up almost as fast as I had lay down, only to find Mike on my bed! “Mike, FUCK, are you trying to make me have heart failure here?” I started laughing hysterically at the stupidity of it.
“I didn’t know you’re fat ass was gonna land on top of me, and why are you so happy?”
“It IS my bed,” I pointed out, “and I met Kristy in town.” I had a HUGE grin on my face now.
“Will you stop grinning so much, you look like a clown! What happened? Did you get anything thrown at you?”
“Does it look like I had anything thrown at me? Well, we got talking, and I’m seeing her again tonight, but I kind of started a fight between her and her friend, they ended up yelling at each other in some café!”
“So, am I still a bastard for making you tell her?”
“No bro- thanks!” I ran over to him and hugged him.
“OK, enough of the physical displays of affection please, I don’t swing that way!” he laughed.
About 7.30pm I phoned Kristy, I was so nervous, it was unbelievable, my hands were shaking as I dialled!
“Hello?” A voice said on the other end if the phone.
“Umm, hi, is, errr, Kristy there?”
“May I ask who is speaking please?”
“It’s, uhh, Chaz.”
“Ohh, so YOU’RE Chaz! The infamous Chaz, the one- OWW! Kristy you wee bitch!” I heard a lot of muffled noises and what sounded like hitting, some more noises, then a loud scream of “FUCK OFF YOU STUPID BITCH!”
“Hello, sorry Chaz!” She sounded out of breath. “That was just my STUPID BITCH OF A SISTER WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO MIND HER OWN BUSINESS!”
She raised her voice at the end so her sister could hear I guessed.
“Yeah, I guessed, haha, so, do you want to go to the cinema tonight or something? I thought we could go see the Mummy Returns, I never got a chance to see it when it was out in America!”
“Yeah! That’d be great! What time do you wanna meet at?”
“Umm, say about 8pm? Is that OK?”
“Yeah, that’d be great, it’ll give me time to make myself gorge for ya! Not that I need to try anyway, with my natural beauty and all, haha!”
“Yeah well, I need to give myself time too ya know, you know how men are with their lotions and potions!”
“Yep, I sure do Chaz! Yas are all the same, spending your money on creams of all sorts instead of us women!”
“Well, I guess, I’ll see you at 8 then?”
“Yep, you can count on it, bye babe!”
I set down the phone, and stared at it.. then stared some more.
I am going out on a date with Chaz, we are going to the cinema, nothing could possibly bring me down from this high, or so I thought.
I rushed around the house, getting ready, doing my makeup, and using MY lotions and potions, and then it was finally time to leave. I didn’t know if I could go through with it, I mean, first date, dark cinema, and we ALL know what a dark cinema means, don’t we? But I decided to grin and bare it, what happens, happens, and if it’s meant to be well, we can’t argue with fate now can we? I finally managed to make my way to the cinema, and when I got there, I was so nervous, my hands were shaking! God, could I be any SADDER?
“Argggghh! Kill me why don’t you!” I swear, people really do like giving me heart failure!
“Hello to you too.”
“Sorry, but you did scare the shit out of me!”
“True, OK, let’s get going, I’m dying to see this movie!” He took my hand as we walked along to the ticket office and got our tickets.
The rest of the film went by peacefully, I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would, I was never really into all that kind of stuff, and I hadn’t seen the first movie either. Chaz was such a gentleman, no pressure to do anything, we just held hands the whole time, it actually freaked me out a bit, I mean, he didn’t even try and put his arm round my shoulder! We walked out of the theatre talking about the film when I caught sight of Emma from behind.
She was with some boy, who I thought I recognised, but couldn’t be sure till I saw his face, luckily he turned round just then, I really couldn’t believe it, it was SCOTT! Emma used to be one of my best friends and now this? I can’t believe anyone would be so two-faced as to do that. Chaz must have sensed something was wrong, or maybe it was because I has stopped walking and was just staring at Emma and Scott together.
“Noth- just- uhh..” I really was stuck for words, so I just pointed.
“Who’s the lad with your friend?”
“Scott, and she’s not my friend anymore. I don’t know how I could’ve ever considered her one, she’s nothing but a common two-faced bitch!” I spat out.
“Ahh, so that’s Scott. How can she do that to you, that’s not very friend-like!”
“It’s because she’s jealous, she wanted you, and she thinks she could’ve got you, coz she gets them all!”
“I wouldn’t have gone out with her anyway, she’s not my type!” He started walking me towards the café so we didn’t have to look at them.
“Ohh, so what IS your type then?” I laughed as we sat down.
“You.” He said as he looked into my eyes. He was so serious, I thought he was gonna ask me to marry him or something. I didn’t know what to reply to him, so I was more than happy when the waitress interrupted us. We made our orders and I was looked past her I saw Emma and Scott walk in.
I could feel myself getting angrier by the moment, she really was an evil bitch, I just wanted to get out of here, but I stayed for the sake of Chaz, and tried to make pleasant conversation with him, about his band, the tour etc. but by the time we were leaving my face was going red, my fists were clenched and I was practically shaking with anger.
“Look, I know you’re angry, but she isn’t worth it!” Chaz said to me, I know he was just trying to make me feel better, but it really wasn’t helping, Emma and Scott walked out just before us, and as we walked outside, Emma leant over to kiss Scott, and as she pulled away she gave me the evilest smile. I don’t know what came over me, I really don’t, but the next thing I knew I was running towards her.
“Kris, STOP!” Chaz had grabbed both of my arms to hold me back.
“YOU STUPID SLUT!”I screamed at her.
“Speak for yourself Kris!”
“I can’t believe you did that you stupid bitch!”
“It feels good to get a taste of your own medicine for once doesn’t it? At least you’ve learnt your lesson, you can’t beat me at my game!”
“You’re only going on a fucking date with him to spite me!”
“Is that true?” I heard Scott speak.
“No, of course it’s not baby, she’s just jealous, I told you she would be.”
“Yes, it’s fucking true! She just jealous because someone didn’t look past me this time.”
“Don’t listen to her baby, it’s all lies!”
“Really? Are you sure it’s not you lying Emma?”
“I swear I’m not, don’t you believe me?”
“She fucking I swear Scott, who would you rather believe, me, your friend, or her, who have you known longer?” He looked at Emma, then at me.
Then back to Emma, “I can’t believe I fell for you, I should have known better.”
And with that he walked off, leaving her on her own. Feeling rather triumphant and no longer wanting a fight, I walked off.
“Feeling better now?” Chaz finally asked me when we reached the nearly deserted main road.
“Yep, LOADS!” I grinned at him, “good thing you held back though, I don’t know what I would’ve done to her I was so mad!”
“Anytime, I don’t mind holding you!” he grinned.
“Well, I don’t mind you holding either,” I turned to face and him stood on my tiptoes as I leaned up to kiss him.
“Wow,” I mumbled, shaking my head, “I mean.. wow!” I think that was the first time in my life a girl had ever made the first move with me, and I certainly wasn’t gonna start complaining!
“I have to go now,” she whispered, pulling away, “but I don’t wanna!”
“Don’t be stupid, I have to go!” She exclaimed
“Really, sorry, but it’s not then end of the world you know!”
“Yeah I guess, “ I said sadly.
“Bye Chaz,” she gave me one small kiss on the lips before walking of home. I turned round and started walking back towards the hotel, looking at my feet the whole time, when I was stopped by a pair of blue jeans a cream boots, as I looked up I saw Emma was standing in front of me.
“Umm, excuse me? I’m trying to get past here.”
“Why are you seeing that thing anyway?” she started.
“Why are you seeing Kristy? Is it like out of pity or something?”
“No it isn’t! I really like her, now excuse me, I’ll be going now!”
“But why go there when you can have so much better over here?” She started walking towards me, making me back up against the wall.
“I’m happy as it is, now MOVE! I don’t want you! Never have, NEVER will!” She made a move to kiss me, but I moved my hand to my mouth before she managed anything.
“Fine, have it your way then, but you have NO idea what you are missing out on!” And with that she left with nothing more than a toss of her peroxide blonde hair.
As soon as I walked into the hotel, I sat down on my bed (with no unexpected visitors this time!) and lifted the phone.
“Hello? Can I speak to Stephy please? ... Hey Stephy, what time is it there?”
“Umm, it’s like 1 in the afternoon?”
“Good, I didn’t wake you up then, I need to talk!”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“Well, I’ve met this girl called Kristy..”
“I really like her, in fact, I think I love her!”
“How long have you known her for?”
“Not very long, but Stephy, I’m so sure about her,”
“Well, what do you need me for?”
“I don’t know how to tell her, I’ve never done this before, well, not so fast anyway. What am I gonna do?”
“Just tell her, there’s nothing else you can do, it’s either that, or not telling her and losing the prospective love of your life.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“You bet I’m right, but what are you gonna do when you go back on tour?”
“That’s the other thing, I was gonna ask her to come with us, we still have another week or two here.”
“Then what are you talking to me for? You sound like you have it all sorted hun!”
“I just needed reassurance!”
“And are you?” I heard her giggle down the phone.
“Yes I am, and it’s not funny!”
“Sorry, I just think this was a waste of a phone call!”
“Well, you’re far better than any of those dickheads to talk to, and you can give me a girls point of view!”
“Well, they do have their feminine side!”
“True, well, thanks loads Stephy, it was great talking to ya again!” “You too babe, good luck, buh bye!”
I felt loads better after I hung up thing phone with Stephy, even just hearing her made me feel a bit better. But I still had to figure out how I was going to say this to Kris, I’d only ever said it once before, but even then it was only because I felt pressured to do it. She said it first, and I felt like I had to say it back, man, that was a harsh break up.
“GIVE IT UP FOR THE ‘H’ MAN!” Joe burst into the room like a superhero, doing the arm action and everything!
“Yo man, sup?”
“YOU should be answering that question dude! What was up with you this morning? And where were you tonight?” Joe’s questions were coming a mile a minute.
“Mike pissed me off this morning, and I was at the cinema tonight, if your really must know.”
“Yes, I REALLY MUST! Who with? Why didn’t I know? YOU DIDN’T INVITE ME TO GO DUDE!”
“I went with Kristy, you didn’t know coz I didn’t tell you, and I didn’t invite you coz you only like stupid cartoon movies, and I didn’t want you interrupting!”
“Ohh! Who’s Kristy? Was she that chick you were eying up the last night?”
“My God Joe! What’s with the third fucking degree? Yeah, Kristy is the chick from the club.”
“She was well fine!”
“I know, I wanna ask her to go on the tour with us.”
“You WHAT? You can’t just do that with every girl you meet at a club dude! What about the rest of us?”
“Dude, I’ve known her longer than last night, and she’s not EVERY girl! And there’s extra room on the bus!”
“S’pose, when are we gonna meet her?”
“I dunno, whenever I wanna let her meet yas, you might scare her off! Especially if you keep bursting in here doing your mighty Mr Hahn thing!”
“Hey,” Joe started, looking offended, “there’s nothing wrong with Mr Hahn.” His bottom lip started to shake, “You’ll be sorry when you need him to save the day.” And he ran out of the room doing his superhero arms again shouting down the corridor, “DO NOT FEAR CITIZENS, MR HAHN WILL SAVE YOU!”
|TOP | Last updated 15 February 2002 19:42 (AUS EST / +1000 GMT).|